英语笑话精选

一：Where It Should Be Plugged
A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, " Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?" She waited for an answer expectfully .
"Plug in nose." is the answer.
一位母亲十分善于利用每一个机会对孩子进行教育。她的儿子只有三岁。一天，她拿着一个插头对儿子说：“看，这里有两个铜片，那它一定要插在有两个孔的地方。你说它应该插在哪儿呢?”母亲期待着儿子的回答。
“插在鼻子里!”儿子回答说。
二：问问你自己的吧
Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply.
这是华盛顿的一个阴冷天。钱普·克拉克正和一个来访的英国人讨论城市的流浪儿，英国人详细地叙述着伦敦式天才的机智。克拉克宣称，要是对方向华盛顿街上任何一个儿童提任何问题，那孩子都会对答如流。他们便出发了。 “什么时候了，小兄弟?人们说你能用鼻子报时。” 回答是：“先生，问问你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”
三：What Was It She Wanted?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.
一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?” “雨，”店员说。
四：Older Goats in America美国老羊
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"
A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
一群美国人乘长途汽车在荷兰旅游。他们在一个奶酪场停下来。一位年轻的导游带他们参观了奶酪制作的全过程，解释说用的是羊奶。 她指给这群人一个美丽的山坡，山坡上许多羊在吃草。对这些，她解释说，是放逐草地的老羊，它们已不能再产奶。她然后问道：“在美国你们怎样处理老羊呢?”
一位活泼的老绅士回答说：“他们让我们乘车旅行!”