笑话英语（1）
这个暑假，爸爸、妈妈、弟弟和我到美国度假。我们住在洛杉矶加州奇洛冈一个小山坡上的一间别墅里。这里气温适宜、环境干燥、降雨量少，但生机勃勃，空气新鲜，很适宜度假。但是，我来这里却是为了吃麦当劳。
有一天，我们全家去麦当劳，说好由我来点餐。但是我英语说得不好，只能回答“How are you?”这类简单的问题，至于点餐，对于我来说真是太难了。但为了吃，我只好硬着头皮，拿着20美金去点餐了。
我指着图片对服务员说：“This.”他说：“What?”我结巴地说：“Fifteen yuan of eight hamburgers, two boxes of chicken and four cups.” 服务员笑了，说：“I see.”他又问：“ Do you want to pack?Do you want tomato sauce?”我听不懂，随便说了几句：“Yes.Yes….”他笑着递过来找回的5美元，又说：“have a seat please.”，让我回到位置上等。我终于松了一口气。
可是，我们全家等了好久也没见服务员把它端上来。我去问服务员：“Where are my hamburgers?”他用手一指：“Over there.”顺着他指的方向，我看到一个盒子。我想：“怎么回事？不是在盘子上吗，怎么被打包了？”突然，我想起了我说的那一串“Yes Yes……”
这次经历让我想起了另一件关于英语的糗事。
前几天，爸爸在美国亚马逊网上买了一个东西，过了一星期还没收到。昨天爸爸才知道是地址填错了，打电话给快递，说明天12点送到。
今天，爸爸一听有电话响了，连忙去接。他先说：“when will you come？”电话里的人说：“twelve 。”爸爸说：“That is good，I will go out but my wife will be at home。”电话里的人说：“what colour will you paint？”爸爸说：“ok。”就挂了电话。挂了之后他自言自语：“不对，怎么要喷颜色？”但不管怎样，爸爸有事，中午不在，把这烂摊子交给了我和妈妈。
11点钟有一个电话打来，我和妈妈猜拳，谁输就去接电话，她输了。她说了“Hello”之后，一紧张就问：“What are you doing？”妈妈本来想说，你是做什么的？电话里的人一愣，妈妈又说：“I am not owner. She goes out.”电话里的人说：“OK.”妈妈情急之下赶快说了“Bye bye”就挂了电话。她似乎阻止了这次喷涂，因为中午12点时没人来喷涂，但货依然没收到。
这两件事让我深切地感受到：要想走世界，英语真的很重要。否则，就连到美国吃顿麦当劳都会闹出笑话的。
笑话英语（2）
one day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. the city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. the city man said to the farmer," i see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" the farmer replied," what"s time to a pig?"
笑话英语（3）
我们班的英语课总是笑料百出，最近英语课的语法讲的是关于第三人称单数的问题，上课时常简单的说“三单”，没有想到一个简单的语法知识也能在我们班闹出笑话。
先问一个：SHE是三单还是非三单？那位同学愣了一下响亮回答：非三单。全班哄堂大笑，那位同学害羞的坐下。老师再次耐心的讲了一遍正确答案，并详细解释三单和非三单的.差别后，又叫另一个同学站起来回答：Mary后面接do还是dose？那同学不假思索的回答：do。老师还没有反应过来，全班又开始大笑，那位同学尴尬的坐下。老师都讲过好多遍了，不知道他们的脑袋是否短路了。
老师接下来复习以前讲过的语法：Like+Ving形式，这也是讲过很多次的东西。老师点后排的一位同学回答：Like+V_什么形式。他前排的一个同学回头用口型告诉他，他竟然不想别人说的对不对，就响亮的回答+原形，全班又炸开锅。过来几分钟后，老师再次点名问他同一个问题Like+V_什么形式，他想了一下，回答：原...啊不，ing形式。脑袋总算开窍了，可还是受到了全体大笑的“奖励”... ...
我们班的英语课总是在搞笑中度过，想想辛苦的是老师，一个超级简单的问题也要反反复复说好多次。
笑话英语（4）
A teacher gave her students of second grade to write an assignment on 'What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving?' She couldn't agree enough with one of the wisest students in her class who wrote that she was thankful that she was 'not' a
一个老师让二年级学生写一个作业，标题是“感恩节我为什么而感恩?”当她看到班里最聪明的一个学生写的作业，她简直不能更赞同了，这个学生在作业中写道，她感恩的是她“不是”火鸡。
笑话英语（5）
This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it It simply wouldn't sit still!"
一位养尊处优的年轻小姐头一回离家去上大学，到了感恩节她倍感孤单。她决定为自己做一顿感恩节大餐。她正在向自己的母亲描述自己第一次做饭的经历，而母亲也很想知道结果如何。当被问及做得好不好吃，这位小姐打了一个颤说，尽管速食汤和批萨不错，但是烹饪火鸡时却遇到了不小的麻烦。她的母亲想找到问题的根源，于是就问她：“是不是烤焦了?”这位小姐回答道：“哦，我没法品尝它，妈妈。火鸡就是不肯老实地坐着!”
笑话英语（6）
先问一个：SHE是三单还是非三单？那位同学愣了一下响亮回答：非三单。全班哄堂大笑，那位同学害羞的坐下。老师再次耐心的讲了一遍正确答案，并详细解释三单和非三单的差别后，又叫另一个同学站起来回答：Mary后面接do还是dose？那同学不假思索的回答：do。老师还没有反应过来，全班又开始大笑，那位同学尴尬的坐下。老师都讲过好多遍了，不知道他们的脑袋是否短路了。
老师接下来复习以前讲过的语法：Like+Ving形式，这也是讲过很多次的东西。老师点后排的一位同学回答：Like+V_什么形式。他前排的一个同学回头用口型告诉他，他竟然不想别人说的对不对，就响亮的回答+原形，全班又炸开锅。过来几分钟后，老师再次点名问他同一个问题Like+V_什么形式，他想了一下，回答：原...啊不，ing形式。脑袋总算开窍了，可还是受到了全体大笑的“奖励”... ...
我们班的英语课总是在搞笑中度过，想想辛苦的是老师，一个超级简单的问题也要反反复复说好多次。
笑话英语（7）
It was the afternoon of April 1. The bell rang at the end of school. The students were putting their books into their bags. they were ready to go home.
Just at the moment, their English teacher came into the classroom and said to them,"Hello, boys and girls. Now go over the English lessons, and we will have a test in half an hour." With these words, she left.
The student looked at each other in surprise. How sudden! The teacher had never told them they would have a test, yet they took out their books and began to work hard.
The studied and syudied. It was getting dark, but the teacher had not come yet!
The monitor went out to the teacher' office. A few minutes later, the English teacher came in with a smile. But she had nothing in her hand!
"I am sorry, but do you know what day today is?" she said.
After the students heard this, they could not help laughing and saying "April folls1!"