幽默英语（1）
推开记忆的窗，您像个快乐的音符拨动着我们炽热的心；像一本读不尽的书，总会在我们困惑时给予我们智慧，让我们豁然开朗，您就是我们最喜欢的英语老师。
英语老师姓韩，她个子中等，白皙的皮肤上镶着一双明亮的眼睛。老师的性格很幽默。记得有一次上课，一向在教师里批改作业的她，今天却站在教室门口迎接我们。等我走到她跟前，忽然，她张开硕大的嘴巴，对我说：“早上好，Mr吴！”她这一喊，可把我吓了一跳，使得我连滚带爬地坐在了座位上。虽然教室坐满了人，但一点声音都没有，而且他们都很严肃，好像有什么心事一样。老师为了活跃气氛，撸了撸袖子，清了清嗓子，翘起她那兰花指，扭了扭她那“小蛮腰”还抛出了几个妩媚的眼神。同学们看到后，都哈哈大笑起来，有些同学甚至都笑出了眼泪。等我们笑完了，才正正经经地上课。
在课上到一半的途中，老师挑起了一位男同学背单词，但他支支吾吾了半天，也没背对一个单词。这时，老师冲着我们说：“给他买个打火机吧！”我们都没明白老师的意思。“没明白吗？因为步步高打火机，哪里不会点哪里啊！”听了老师的话后，我们又笑了起来。
虽然我们一节课都在笑，但这让我们的记忆更加深刻了。
这就是我们最喜欢的老师，您是塑造人类灵魂的伟大工程师，您
是培育鲜艳花朵的辛勤园丁，您是哺育我们茁壮成长的慈母，我赞美您，喜欢您！
幽默英语（2）
叮铃铃! 叮铃铃!第一节课，英语课。急促的铃身想起来了!
一阵铃声响过后，一个矮小的身影映着窗户来到了教室。我想，那一定是朱老师。
虽然我不是特别喜欢英语课，但是，我还是非常喜欢朱老师给我们上课的。因为她的表情、动作、语言和样子都非常好笑。
记得某一星期四下午最后一节课后十几分钟，朱老师手拿着英语书，昂首挺胸的来到了我们六班。
过了好一会，四班和五班的同学也陆续的来到了我们班来上英语小社团。
在上小社团的时候，有一个五班的大胖子在那里讲话，被朱老师看见了，她说：“×××，你给我站起来！”，那个胖子摇摇头说：“不要！我下次不讲话了。”“你起不起来？我数三个数，一，二，三！”，朱老师说完，见那个胖子还是不站起来，就直接想把他拉到来到门外去站。
可是，朱老师那矮小的身躯，怎么可能把那个大胖子拉走呢？看到朱老师那费劲儿的样子，我们忍不住都笑了起来。朱老师又笑又生气地说：“笑什么笑，不准笑！”。
那个胖子也真牛，说什么也不肯站起来。最后，朱老师也累了，就拿出了她的绝招：去叫他的班主任来。一提到班主任，他立即以“迅雷不及掩耳之势”的速度站了起来。
哈哈哈！朱老师就是这样一位幽默的好老师！
幽默英语（3）
幽默是人的一种素养、涵养，是一种高雅的风度，一种高深曼妙的语言艺术，一种艺术价值较高的美。在含蓄中透漏出要表达的意愿，在诙谐风趣中抒发出思想感悟，给人以高雅的，有趣的美的艺术享受。下面给大家分享一些关于幽默小学，希望对大家有帮助。
I like to watch movie so much, because I can learn a lot of things. Comedyis my favorite type of movie. Every time when I watch it, I will laugh outloudly. I find so much fun in comedy. It helps me to be humorous and make a lotof friends. A humorous person is always favored by all, as he can bringhappiness.
When we are chatting with our friends happily, suddenly if we are talkingabout the awkward topic, we need to do something to change this situation, whatare we gonna do? The answer is using your humor to make things seem easy, andthen your friends won’t take your awkward topic seriously. Humor is veryimportant, it can adjust the atmosphere, making things work easily. Life needshumor, without humor, life would be boring. Foreign people like to make friendswith humorous people, they can feel relax when they are chatting, while mostChinese people are always taking things too seriously. I like to make friendswith humorous guys, they make me feel life is easy, and we should positive aboutlife.
Humor is a flavor of our lives. Humor can soften relationship betweenpeople; humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions; humor can bringmore fun and joy to our lives.
First, humor is very necessary in communicating with others because it cansoften relationship between people. In the process of getting along with others,the occurrence of difference and contradiction is inevitable. Sometimes, when wewant to persuade others to agree with our points, we will find that our pointsare easier to be accepted if we argue in a humorous tone.
Second, humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions. A personhaving a good sense of humor is good at adjust the atmosphere. For example, in afamily, if the husband has a good sense humor, their family life would be moreharmonious because he can adjust the atmosphere in time to avoid the occurrenceof quarrel.
Finally, a person having a good sense of humor can bring fun and joy toothers. It is not difficult to find that a humorous person is always warmlywelcomed in any occasions because he can bring happiness to everywhere he goes.In addition, staying with the humorous people, we will find that we will be morepositive and our lives will be more wonderful.
Therefore, all of us need to learn some skills of humor and use themproperly so that we can make our lives be more wonderful.
I like to see American TV series so much, because not only the plotattracts me so much, but also I can learn the English spoken language. Recently,I fall in love with Two Broke Girls, it is so funny and makes me laugh happily.Besides the humorous plot, I am also inspired by the characters’ spirit. Thoughthe two girls are poor and work as the waitress in the small restaurant, theynever give up their dreams. They make the plans for their dreams, even they meetall kinds of difficulties, they are still positive about their future. I learnthings from them, I keep the positive attitude towards life.
Last week, my parents told me the good news that my family would go campingwith my uncle’s family. I felt so excited about it, because I could spend thewhole night outside, which never happened before. When the day came, we broughtthe equipment and bought some food. In the afternoon, the two families settleddown, then we started to walked around. My cousins and I rushed to the forestand went to the highest point, where we can appreciate the whole sight. Standingon the highest place, I felt so great. The world was in front of my eyes and Ithought of the old poets’ description. At night, we set the the fire and talkedhappily. The parents were talking about the family chores and the kids wereplaying games. It was such a happy moment for me.
幽默英语（4）
人们喜欢幽默要考虑，但我们其实很少有幽默感，我们希望我们的感觉。另一方面，有些人，可能想知道为什么我们应该打扰是幽默。下面给大家分享一些关于幽默的高一，希望对大家有帮助。
I like to watch movie so much, because I can learn a lot of things. Comedyis my favorite type of movie. Every time when I watch it, I will laugh outloudly. I find so much fun in comedy. It helps me to be humorous and make a lotof friends. A humorous person is always favored by all, as he can bringhappiness.
When we are chatting with our friends happily, suddenly if we are talkingabout the awkward topic, we need to do something to change this situation, whatare we gonna do? The answer is using your humor to make things seem easy, andthen your friends won’t take your awkward topic seriously. Humor is veryimportant, it can adjust the atmosphere, making things work easily. Life needshumor, without humor, life would be boring. Foreign people like to make friendswith humorous people, they can feel relax when they are chatting, while mostChinese people are always taking things too seriously. I like to make friendswith humorous guys, they make me feel life is easy, and we should positive aboutlife.
Humor is a flavor of our lives. Humor can soften relationship betweenpeople; humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions; humor can bringmore fun and joy to our lives.
First, humor is very necessary in communicating with others because it cansoften relationship between people. In the process of getting along with others,the occurrence of difference and contradiction is inevitable. Sometimes, when wewant to persuade others to agree with our points, we will find that our pointsare easier to be accepted if we argue in a humorous tone.
Second, humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions. A personhaving a good sense of humor is good at adjust the atmosphere. For example, in afamily, if the husband has a good sense humor, their family life would be moreharmonious because he can adjust the atmosphere in time to avoid the occurrenceof quarrel.
Finally, a person having a good sense of humor can bring fun and joy toothers. It is not difficult to find that a humorous person is always warmlywelcomed in any occasions because he can bring happiness to everywhere he goes.In addition, staying with the humorous people, we will find that we will be morepositive and our lives will be more wonderful.
Therefore, all of us need to learn some skills of humor and use themproperly so that we can make our lives be more wonderful.
Many people ask what happiness is. I don’t know why there are many peopleasking this question, because I think happiness is simple. As for me, I feelhappy when I do a good job in my study. Teachers praise me and my parents arehappy. Or, when I help others I feel happy. I am proud of myself. Besides,playing with my classmates or friends is happy, too. We always have a great timetogether. From above, they are all happiness.
Before I went to middle school, I lived with my grandparents. At that time,I stayed in the country, which was the most beautiful place for me. Early in themorning, I walked along the country road, appreciating the fresh air. We raiseda little dog. He was my best friend, and he accompanied me all the time. Nomatter what I did and where I went, the little dog was with me and I loved himso much. Sometimes I would pick up the fruit in the garden, sometimes I wouldcatch the fish in the clear river. It was such a happy childhood for me that Iwill never forget.
幽默英语（5）
我们班的英语老师Mr。Yu是一个个子高高，体型中等的男老师。带着一副黑边眼镜，显得文质彬彬，他遇事淡定，还很幽默。
就拿那节课来说吧，课上Mr。Yu正在兴致勃勃地讲课，讲得手舞足蹈，我们也听得津津有味，突然，他停了下来，推了推眼镜说：我们不论做什么都要认真，大家看xxx，开小差开得特别认。Mr。Yu把特别二字拉得特别长，我们顺势看去，原来徐徐正专心地摆弄着什么，看到我们的目光，徐徐惭愧地低下了头说罢Mr。Yu继续上课，上着上着他又走到徐徐边上，敲了敲他的桌子，原来他又故伎重施，我心想：这下Mr。Yu该大发雷霆了，可没想到他只是轻描淡写地说了句：xxx同学，下课我邀请你到我办公室聊一聊啊。徐徐听了正襟危坐，不敢再乱动了。我暗自惊叹：Mr。Yu真是个高人，连批评人都那么不动声色，用语还非常幽默，效果却立竿见影。
Mr。Yu教育犯错的人的方法也很特别，有次英语课上我和同桌闹翻了天，有幸得到了他的邀请，下课来到了他的办公室。问清前因后果之后，他告诉我们要爱人如己，相互理解，之后给了我俩一人一包饼干，说：奖励你们以后和睦相处。就让我们回去上课了。犯了错还得奖励，这独特的惩罚，让我记忆犹新，直到现在我和同桌一直和睦相处。这独特的惩罚可不只有我俩领教过。以前徐徐和后面两位一上英语课就对着干，惩罚一次之后他们再也没有吵过。
这就是我的英语老师Mr。Yu，一个脸上总带着微笑，和气，幽默，像朋友一样的男老师。
幽默英语（6）
Many people ask what happiness is. I don’t know why there are many peopleasking this question，because I think happiness is simple. As for me，I feelhappy when I do a good job in my study. Teachers praise me and my parents arehappy. Or，when I help others I feel happy. I am proud of myself. Besides，playing with my classmates or friends is happy，too. We always have a great timetogether. From above，they are all happiness.
幽默英语（7）
Before I went to middle school，I lived with my grandparents. At that time，I stayed in the country，which was the most beautiful place for me. Early in themorning，I walked along the country road，appreciating the fresh air. We raiseda little dog. He was my best friend，and he accompanied me all the time. Nomatter what I did and where I went，the little dog was with me and I loved himso much. Sometimes I would pick up the fruit in the garden，sometimes I wouldcatch the fish in the clear river. It was such a happy childhood for me that Iwill never forget.
幽默英语（8）
This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it It simply wouldn't sit still!"
一位养尊处优的年轻小姐头一回离家去上大学，到了感恩节她倍感孤单。她决定为自己做一顿感恩节大餐。她正在向自己的母亲描述自己第一次做饭的经历，而母亲也很想知道结果如何。当被问及做得好不好吃，这位小姐打了一个颤说，尽管速食汤和批萨不错，但是烹饪火鸡时却遇到了不小的麻烦。她的母亲想找到问题的根源，于是就问她：“是不是烤焦了?”这位小姐回答道：“哦，我没法品尝它，妈妈。火鸡就是不肯老实地坐着!”
幽默英语（9）
The escalating sales of turkey legs inspired a poultry farmer to research and breed a turkey with more legs and thus, reap more profits for It was only after many years that he finally succeeded in breeding one with six legs! The news of his success reached the media and reporters questioned him about the taste of the turkey he had The intellectual whispered with a grave face, "What I wouldn't give to catch it!"
火鸡腿的热销让一名家禽饲养员想研究培育出一个有更多条腿的火鸡品种，从而可以获利更多。许多年后，他终于成功培育出一只有六条腿的火鸡!他成功的新闻被媒体获悉，到访的记者们询问他这只火鸡的味道如何。这名智者一脸严肃地低声说道：“我倒是想告诉你呢，但是我压根抓不住啊!”
幽默英语（10）
Here is a funny (and repelling!) trick to do in front of your friends just before dinner, if you do not want them to eat too much on your Load your plate up high with everything including the salad, a piece of turkey, a bit of soup and some bread Toss it all in the blender and offer your new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake to You can be sure to delay the dinnertime by an hour at least with this
如果你不想请客吃饭时被朋友吃掉太多钱，以下是开饭前的一个小窍门。把自己盘子里的食物堆得高高的，包括沙拉、一块火鸡、一点汤和一些面包渣。把这些食物全搅在一起，然后请其他人吃你新发明的“感恩节减肥奶昔”。靠这个窍门你绝对能把用餐时间推迟一小时。
幽默英语（11）
I like to watch movie so much, because I can learn a lot of Comedy is my favorite type of Every time when I watch it, I will laugh out I find so much fun in It helps me to be humorous and make a lot of A humorous person is always favored by all, as he can bring
幽默英语（12）
Humor is a flavor of our Humor can soften relationship between people; humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions; humor can bring more fun and joy to our
First, humor is very necessary in communicating with others because it can soften relationship between In the process of getting along with others, the occurrence of difference and contradiction is Sometimes, when we want to persuade others to agree with our points, we will find that our points are easier to be accepted if we argue in a humorous
Second, humor can adjust the atmosphere of different A person having a good sense of humor is good at adjust the For example, in a family, if the husband has a good sense humor, their family life would be more harmonious because he can adjust the atmosphere in time to avoid the occurrence of
Finally, a person having a good sense of humor can bring fun and joy to It is not difficult to find that a humorous person is always warmly welcomed in any occasions because he can bring happiness to everywhere he In addition, staying with the humorous people, we will find that we will be more positive and our lives will be more
Therefore, all of us need to learn some skills of humor and use them properly so that we can make our lives be more
幽默英语（13）
Before I went to middle school, I lived with my At that time, I stayed in the country, which was the most beautiful place for Early in the morning, I walked along the country road, appreciating the fresh We raised a little He was my best friend, and he accompanied me all the No matter what I did and where I went, the little dog was with me and I loved him so Sometimes I would pick up the fruit in the garden, sometimes I would catch the fish in the clear It was such a happy childhood for me that I will never
幽默英语（14）
儿童英语幽默小故事【篇一】
磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
收师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时睡觉。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人打瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好地教育他不要睡觉。
In a whisper, he asked the congregation. All who want to go to heaven, please rise， Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering Be seated，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，All those who want to be with the devil，please rise.
他低声地对教徒们说:“想去天堂的人都站起来。”除打瞌睡的人外，每个人都站了起来。牧师说过请坐之后，高声喊道:“下地狱的请站起来!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir, he said.,I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声所惊醒，站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气地望着他。他说:“先生，我不知我们在选什么，但看上去你和我是的侯选人。
儿童英语幽默小故事【篇二】
聪明的鸟
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;I see you,and the saint sees you.
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you.
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.
“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
Sic' em，Saint,squawked the parrot.
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”
儿童英语幽默小故事【篇三】
只剩一个引擎
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:Attention，passengers. We have lost one of our engines，but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately， we will arrive an hour late as a result.
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意，我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter，the passengers heard the captain's voice again:Guess what，folks. We just lost our third engine，but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late.
过了一会儿，旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位，你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了，有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point，one passenger became furious. For Pete's sake,he shouted，If we lose another engine，we'll be up here all night !
正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止，如果我们再掉一个引拿，我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
儿童英语幽默小故事【篇四】
The Ant and the Dove
An ant is walking by the river. He looks at the river and says to himself, “How nice and cool this water looks! I must drink some of it.” But when he is drinking, he slips into the river.
“Oh.Help!Help!” The ant cries,
A dove is sitting in the tree. She hears him and throws him a leaf, “Climb up that leaf,” she says “and you will float bank.”
The ant climbs uo onto the leaf, and the wind blows the leaf to the bank. And the ant is saved.
“Thank you, Dove. You’re so kind,” The ant says and runs home, “You have saved my life, and I wish I could do something for you, Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!” says the dove, “Be careful. Not to fall into the river again.”
After a few days, the dove is building her nest. And a man is raising his gun to shoot her.
The ant sees this, and runs quickly to bite the man’s leg. “Ouch! Ouch!” The man feels pained and drops his gun. The dove hears and flies away. So the man picks up his gun and leave.
The dove comes to her nest. “Thank you, my little friend,” she says, “You have saved my life.”
The little ant is so glad, because he can help the dove.
蚂蚁和鸽子
一只蚂蚁在河边散步。他看见喝水自言自语道：“这河水看上去真清凉啊!我要去喝点。”可是他在喝水的时候，一不小心滑进河里了。
“啊!救命!救命!’蚂蚁叫喊着。
一只鸽子正呆在树上，听见呼救声，就扔给他一片树叶。“快爬到树叶上去。她说：“你会漂到岸上的。”
“谢谢你，鸽子。你真善良。”蚂蚁一边说一边向家跑，“你就了我的命，我会奥达你的。再见!”
“再见!小心别掉进河里了。”鸽子说。
几天后，鸽子正在筑巢，一个人举着枪要打鸽子。蚂蚁看见了，迅速地跑过去，在那个人的腿上咬了一口。“啊呀!哎呀!”那个人疼得扔掉枪。鸽子听见了，连忙飞走了。那个人只好捡起枪，走了。
鸽子又飞回巢里。“谢谢你，我的小朋友。”鸽子说，“你就了我的命。”
小蚂蚁可高兴了，因为他也帮助了鸽子。
幽默英语（15）
Humor is a kind of talent, is a kind of power, or the face of our common human living dilemma and created a civilization. It is expressed in the form of pleasure of sincere, generous and kind heart. It is like closing the miles of space that intervene between a man and a pressure bridge, make up the gap between people, is hard and hope to establish a good relationship with others of the indispensable thing, is also a hope every necessary to reduce his life return on crutch.
When as a natural person live in society, you can consciously or unconsciously must be a social person, that is not willing to or not depends on you. Assimilate social or assimilation by the society. Is, the power of humor does not make you gain or lose weight, not to help you pay the bill, not temple also help you work, but it can help you solve the problem of interpersonal relationship, to coordinate the relationship between the age or forget years. When you want to be a can overcome obstacles, to win others to like and trust the person, don't ignore the magical powers.
幽默是一种艺术，是人主中不可缺少的喜剧。正因它的存在，使世界充满了欢乐。
幽默是一种才华，是一种力量，或者说是人类面对共同的生活困境而创造出来的一种文明。它以愉悦的方式表达人的真诚、大方和心灵的善良。它象一压桥梁拉近人与人之间的距离，弥补人与人之间的鸿沟，是奋发向上者和希望与他人建立良好关系者不可缺少的东西，也是每一个希望减轻自己人生重提的人所必需依靠的“拐杖”。
当作为一名自然人生活在社会中时，你就自觉不自觉地非成为一名社会人不可，这并非决定于你的愿意与否。同化社会或被社会同化。固然，幽默的力量不会使你长高或减肥，不合帮你付清帐单，也不寺帮你干活，但它的确能帮助你解决人际关系问题，协调同龄或忘年之间的关系。当你希望成为一个能克服障碍、赢得他人喜欢和信任的人时，千万别忽视这股神奇的力量。