每当存亡的时刻

当海浪又一次温柔地涌上沙滩的时候，海龟们又一次战战兢兢地钻出沙穴，在它们面前的是一条满是希望和危险的路，可能是光明的未来，也可能是残酷的终结。存亡的时刻，总是难以抉择。这个时刻，是一只柔弱却又无比坚强的小海龟站了出来，肩负着整个种群的希望与使命，虽然这一别可能是最后一别。且不管它最后是否因为那个好心人的救助辜负了大家的期望，至少在这一刻，它小小的背影在落日的余晖下是那么的雄伟与悲壮。

when the waves come up to the beach again, the turtles drill out of the sand hole again with fear. in front of them is a road full of hope and danger, which may be a bright future or a cruel end. it's always hard to decide when to live or die. at this moment, a weak but extremely strong little turtle stood up and shouldered the hope and mission of the whole population, although this farewell may be the last. and whether or not it failed to live up to everyone's expectations because of the help of that kind-hearted person, at least at this moment, its small back is so magnificent and tragic in the afterglow of the sunset.

望着小海龟离去的背影，时间仿佛回到千年以前，沙滩仿佛也卷起了波浪，好似易水旁，太子丹亲手给即将刺秦的荆轲斟上饯行的酒。这一刻，飞鸟也为之徘徊；这一刻，壮士也为之落泪；这一刻，又何必计较这位英雄的成功与失败。悲伤，不一定需要太多的眼泪；感动，不一定需要太多的辞藻。也许，他并没有拯救这个国家于危难，但是在存亡的时刻，他站了出来，牺牲了小我，成就了大义。

looking at the back of the little turtle's departure, time seems to return to a thousand years ago, the beach seems to have rolled up waves, like the yi water side, prince dan poured the farewell wine on jingke, who was about to be assassinated by qin dynasty. at this moment, the birds also linger for it; at this moment, the heroes also cry for it; at this moment, why bother about the success and failure of this hero. sadness doesn't need too many tears; moving doesn't need too many words. perhaps, he did not save the country in crisis, but in the moment of survival, he stood up, sacrificed the ego, and achieved great justice.

中华民族，这个有着悠久历史的民族，免不了兴衰与荣辱；中华民族，这个素来坚强不屈的民族，注定在存亡的时刻，从来都不缺为了民族流血甚至牺牲的英雄。无论是冬天里席卷半个中国的雪灾，还是刚刚发生的牵动每一个炎黄子孙的汶川地震，总有那么多勇于奉献、勇于牺牲的人们站出来。无论是在地震第一线，踏着残垣与断壁，给黑暗中的人带去光明与希望的武警官兵们，还是在城市的街头拿着募捐箱传递爱心的志愿者们；无论是在无数条承载着爱心与关怀的公路、铁路上，为了运送救灾物资几天几夜没合眼的司机们，还是在工厂里熬夜加班，赶制帐篷、生活用品的工人们；再或者是举国上下，通过各种方式表达自己对受灾地区的关心与爱心的所有人们。也许，我们无从得知他们的名字；也许，没有人知道他们身上有着怎样的故事，但不管是谁，听到这样的故事，都会觉得正是这些默默奉献、默默牺牲的人，才会在民族与国家存亡的时刻，排除万难，力挽狂澜，并将这种精神一脉相传。

the chinese nation, a nation with a long history, is bound to rise and fall, honor and disgrace; the chinese nation, a nation that has always been strong and unyielding, is destined to have no lack of heroes who bleed or even sacrifice for the nation at the time of survival. no matter the snow disaster sweeping half of china in winter or the wenchuan earthquake just happened, there are always so many people who have the courage to sacrifice. no matter in the front line of the earthquake, the armed police officers and soldiers who step on the ruins and walls to bring light and hope to the people in the dark, or the volunteers who carry donation boxes to deliver love on the streets of the city; no matter on countless roads and railways carrying love and care, the drivers who have not closed their eyes for several days or nights to deliver disaster relief materials, or stay up late and work overtime in the factory to catch up the workers who make tents and daily necessities, or all the people of the whole country who express their concern and love for the disaster area in various ways. perhaps, we have no way to know their names; perhaps, no one knows what kind of stories they have, but no matter who hears such stories, they will feel that it is these people who make silent contributions and sacrifice, in the time of the survival of the nation and the country, to eliminate all difficulties, turn back the tide, and pass on this spirit in one continuous line.

没有一个人可以永生，没有一个民族可以总是风调雨顺、国泰民安，然而，只要我们每个人都存有这样一份勇于奉献的信念，这样一份勇于牺牲的精神，那么，即使将来遇到再大的风雨，我们都可以说，我们的民族之魂仍在，我们的民族之魂永在！

no one can live forever, no nation can always be in good weather, the country is peaceful and the people are safe. however, as long as each of us has such a faith of brave dedication, such a spirit of brave sacrifice, then, even if there is any storm in the future, we can say that the soul of our nation is still there, and the soul of our nation is forever!

【失分警示】

[point loss warning]

如果脱离供料就文论文，本文写得还是不错的，其中心明确，语言简练；文中既有历史人物荆轲这个“点”，又有雪灾、地震中勇于奉献、牺牲的人们这个“面”；结尾段的概括，还充盈着一股饱满的气势。

if the paper is written without any materials, it is well written, with a clear center and concise language. there are not only historical figures jing ke, but also people who are brave to sacrifice in the snow disaster and earthquake. the summary of the end section is also full of a full momentum.

但是，衡量一篇考场作文优劣的前提和基础，理应是看它是否符合题意。本文的切入点为“这个时刻，是一只柔弱却又无比坚强的小海龟站了出来，肩负着整个种群的希望与使命……”而作文材料中的表述却是“原来，先出来的那只幼龟是个‘侦察兵’，一旦遇到危险，它便缩回去”，这里的“缩回去”，明确无误地表示着幼龟并不需要冒什么风险(也就是说，《每当存亡的时刻》一文立意的出发点，是有违材料含意的)。因此，该文只能判为不及格。

however, the premise and basis for measuring the quality of an examination composition should be to see whether it conforms to the meaning of the question. the starting point of this paper is "at this moment, a weak but extremely strong little turtle came out and shouldered the hope and mission of the whole population." but the expression in the composition material is "originally, the first out turtle is a 'scout', once it is in danger, it will shrink back". the "shrink back" here clearly indicates that the turtle does not need to take any risk (that is to say, the starting point of the article "every moment of survival" is contrary to the meaning of the material). therefore, the article can only be judged as failing.