感受鲁迅

小时候，曾学过很长时间的简笔画，画过的物品各式各样，头像只画过两个：一个是大眼睛的小姑娘，另一个是嘴上有着“一”字胡的瘦削的中年人。

when i was a child, i used to learn a long time of simple strokes. i drew a variety of objects. there were only two head portraits: one was a girl with big eyes, the other was a thin middle-aged man with a "i" character on his mouth.

那时候并不知道这个中年人的侧面像画的是鲁迅，只知道他的胡子很像一个隶书的“一”，如果把“一”字画得直一些，圆满一些．老师就会用红笔在下边批一个挺高的分数。于是便整天练着画中年人的胡子，精雕细刻地描画着一个个“一”。

at that time, i didn't know that lu xun painted the profile of this middle-aged man. i only knew that his beard was very similar to the "one" in official script. if i drew the "one" straightly and perfectly, the teacher would use a red pen to mark a high score. so he practiced painting the beard of middle-aged people all day long, elaborately depicting one by one.

后来读了《一面》，就在每次画画的时候，将中年人的嘴角画得翘起来，很夸张的样子。因为我猜他是喜欢孩子的，会对我笑。每每有人看了这样的画，都不相信画的是鲁迅，信了的就怪怪地看着我，然后一言不发地走掉。“他经常骂人的，很严肃。”另一些人笑嘻嘻地说，纠正我的错误。于是我就抱起画册，一言不发地走掉。

later, i read "one side". i drew the corners of the middle-aged people's mouths in an exaggerated way every time i drew. because i guess he likes children and will laugh at me. every time someone saw such a painting, they didn't believe that lu xun was the one who drew it. when they did, they looked at me strangely and left without saying a word. "he often swears and is very serious." others laughed and said, correct my mistake. so i picked up the album and left without saying a word.

至今没有成功地画出鲁迅的样子。面部线条的逼真被直直的胡子和夸张的嘴角掩盖了。感觉到鲁迅的锐利和其背后的悲悯，我却只能用有些造作的胡子和虚伪的嘴角来表达，笨拙地希望别人能理解他，说不上崇拜，而是一种升华了的尊敬。因为记得一句话：“没有见到过星空的民族不会想到要探索宇宙。”所以一直固执地认为鲁迅是他那个时代少数仰望过星空的人之一，因为比别人看得更高更远，才有别人体会不到的深刻和悲凉。总觉得他对待祖国如同对待自己一个走上歧路的至亲，即使狠狠地鞭笞对方，仍然饱含着深沉的爱。或者，正因为有爱，所以才有尖锐的目光和评判吧。

up to now, lu xun has not been successfully painted. the lifelike lines of the face are covered by a straight beard and exaggerated corners of the mouth. i feel lu xun's sharpness and the compassion behind it, but i can only express it with some artificial beard and hypocritical corners of the mouth. i clumsily hope that others can understand him, not worship, but a sublimated respect. because i remember a saying: "people who haven't seen the stars don't want to explore the universe." therefore, lu xun has been stubbornly considered as one of the few people who looked up at the starry sky in his time. only when they looked higher and farther than others, could they feel the deep and sad that others could not. he always felt that he treated his motherland as if he were a close relative who went astray. even though he severely flogged each other, he was still full of deep love. or, just because there is love, so there are sharp eyes and judgments.

很多文人“活着”，靠着鲁迅死后人们转托在他们身上的尊敬，这股力量如此之大，以至于可以养活这许许多多的“文人”。鲁迅的嘴角依然微微地上扬，“一”字胡仍旧直直的，夸张地微笑，夸张地严肃，用瘦削的手点一枝烟，用锐利的目光看着这个世界，“笑到咳嗽”，笑人们的愚蠢和冷漠，躲在严肃的外表后面，慈爱地笑，表达着自己对这个世界的怜爱。

many literati "live", relying on the respect people entrusted to them after lu xun's death, this power is so great that they can support so many "literati". lu xun's mouth is still slightly raised, "yi" hu is still straight, exaggerated smile, exaggerated serious, light a cigarette with thin hand, look at the world with sharp eyes, "laugh to cough", laugh at people's stupidity and indifference, hide behind the serious appearance, smile lovingly, expressing his love for the world.